The unlikely heroes, The Dreaded Pirates take on a Legendary Criminal!
3 children are seen running into a house near a cliff. It was late afternoon and they just finished watching the Horizon, they return to their parent's house... They beg their grandpa to tell them another story, he said "Alright, alright. I'll tell ya squirts a story... But what kind of story?" The children happily said, "Tell us about the past, Grandpa!" The Grandpa stopped and sighed, very well then... You want to hear about the stories of the past, I'll tell you one... A long long time ago, their lived an Evil man who lived for excess, he forced slaves to build him useless things and buildings. Forcing women to leave their husband and children to be his concubines. This man's greed knows no bounds and his name is... Dark Schnitzel!!!" The children hugged together in fear "Grandpa!!!! That's way too scary! Tell us another one!" The grandpa smiled and said "Oh, but this story has a good ending." The little children smiled and continued to listen. Then Grandpa continued "Now where was I? Ahhh yes, Dark Schnitzel knew his reign was over and he sensed some good hearted but shrewd people will surely come to overthrow his reign and restore peace on the Island." Scribe: Sire, rebellion after rebellion... Our people are getting concerned about their safety. We need more soldiers. D.S.: Heh, I lord Dark Schnitzel.... Before he can continue, his assistant suddenly breaks in and says: Assistant: D.S. for short and yes we do need more soliders but we can't do that if were fighting on all borders.... Scribe: Yes, but why not hire mercenary bands to fight for us? They're are surely some people who'll do it. D.S. Assistant, set me a meeting with the Land's top mercenary bands. And give me a company of solider consisting of a hundred men. Now, move your ass! Assistant: (While walking away) Sure, you don't have to tell me twice. D.S.: Now squire, do you any other pressing matters to tell me? Squire: Uhh, no sire. I'll be on my way now.. D.S.: Oh, do tell the citizens that I'll be keeping them safe due to their loyalty to me. Squire: Yes sire! After the Squire left, D.S. is seen staring from the North from his castle tower. D.S.: When will you come, adventurers who will overthrow me... Hurry up so I can have you executed... D.S. Leaves the room grinning and his mind full of malice and deceit Meanwhile the Dreaded Pirates is seen sailing from their kick ass ship made up from Adam Wood, They're all having a fun time, Mayuko singing for them and Dasher trying to beat Senshin in a drinking game. Drautic is seen controlling the ship's wheel and a beer on the other hand. They're currently stopping for the island D.S. is currently ruling. Little did they know that D.S. has "some plans" with them. Austinato: Drautic, Looks like we'll be stopping for this Island for a while. Supplies is almost depleted and we need to lay low for a while... We've been causing a little ruckus, and some big shot marine or another insanely strong pirate crew might suddenly caught us off guard and whoop our ass. Bizkit comes and joins in their conversation, sharing his idea to Drautic and his first mate. Bizkit: Austinato's right, but the main reason we need to land is we've been sea sick for a while and we really really need to "clean" our bathrooms you know... Have you ever been there lately? A pictre of the Dreaded's bathroom is seen, flies are flying all over the place and a brown colored steam is seen floating away. The trio continue discussing their bathroom problems when dasheer bursts in and pukes heavily on the sea. Senshin: Hahahahahaha! You can never and will never beat me in a drinking contest, bud. Dasher: Shut it! You tricked me! You made me drunk then challenged me to a drinking contest! No way in hell i'd lose to a man like--- Buwah!!! Damn, I'm sick... (suddenly sleeps on the ground) Renzu: Ha ha ha! So what now? Dasher's out cold? Akira: Oi, Mayuko-san! Sing us a song! Mayuko: Don't order me around pervert! But okay! Mayuko sings a jolly song that entertains Akira and Renzu, now let's shift back to the evil Lord D.S. who is now signing papers detailing that all mercenaries are allowed to enter and use his city as a base. Soldier: Sir! A pirate ship is seen in the island! And it's closing in! D.S.: Deal with it! Soldier: Yessir! Our navy is now apprehending it. D.S.: Good. Now back to the Dreaded Pirates, who're now utterly sorrounded and are left with no other choice: Surrender. Drautic: Yo! We just wanna replenish our supplies! Let us off the hook! Naval Captain: Yeah right! And pirates aren't scumbags! Dasher: (While trying to stand up) Hey, assholes! Shut the fuck up, we're trying to land. Naval Captain#2: Alright that's it! Open Fir--- what?! He was too late to notice that all of the Naval ships are destroyed, the Dreaded Pirates is seen standing at the ship's side, they were smiling and is provoking the Naval Captain to do something. The Naval captain, seeing this as a real pain in the ass.. Retreated for now. Naval Captain#2/Drautic: Alright!!! Let's go! Naval Officer: Sir! The pirate ship is currently gaining speed on us, it would be unwise to let them follow us to the city! Naval Captain#2: Dammit! Open fire! Sink that ship!!! Naval Officer: Sink the ship!!! Dasher: Drautic! They're preparing to fire on us!!! We have to fire too! Drautic: It's captain, dumbass! Akira, release the krakens! Akira: Pardon? Drautic: Oh, I mean release the minisquids! Akira: Right! I'm on it! Akira quickly threw a small compact grenade into the sea, releasing hundreds of squids and attacking the Naval Battleship. The Naval Captain didn't mind the squids but it was too late to notice that the squids are in fact, releases inks that destroys the wood. Akira: I injected those squids with a chemical that destroys wood, and I also trained them to destroy specific targets! Austinato: Yeah yeah, but we need to land. Now! Mayuko: I see it! There..... Renzu: Great, we can't make a frontal landing cause it'll look like we're gonna be some invaders or something... Senshin: Looks like we'll have to land in the rear part of the island. Drautic: And we wiped out their navy, great... Just great... Bizkit: Shake your dicks off guys, the pissing contest is over. Dasher: Dude, where'd you get those lines, man.... They're so weird and they don't even seem to be in relationship with the topic we're having now. Akira: Dude, lay off the B-bro. Aeon gets out off the room and smells the fresh air but suddenly pukes when he accidentally stepped on Dasher's vomit. Aeon: What the hell man?! Dasher: Yeah, bro. It's my vomit. Austinato: Yo, since we're all having these pointless conversations... I say we, find a safe route to the city? Eh? Mayuko: Why not just sneak in a merchant ship and wait till it lands? Drautic/Austinato/Senshin/Aeon: .... Dasher: Mayuko-san is right! Let's do- Akira suddenly punches Dasher in the face Akira: Yeah, and what's gonna happen to our ship huh?! Bizkit: That's why I'm staying here. I'll anchor the ship and guard it, while you guys get more supplies. Drautic: Aight, aight. Bizkit's gonna stay here we go get some supplies and meet here. And don't do any business with the locals, we might get in trouble with their lawmen or something. Senshin: Please, what could happen? Aeon: Dude, don't try that again, bro. Remember the last time? Dasher: Dude, we're stronger now. B'sides, what could... Mayuko: There it is! A merchant ship! Austinato: Everyone, jump! All of them except Bizkit jumped on the merchant ship and headed to the city, they quickly jumped off and proceeded to buy all of the needed supplies. That's when a boy asked Drautic for some change, normally Drautic would just kick him down and tell him to work your ass off and cut some slack. But he's different this time, he's changed. And he quickly picked 1 gold piece in his pocket and gave it to the boy. Drautic: You should work while you're still young kid. Boy: I would've done it a long time ago, but the king's stupid. His importing mercenaries to fight his war and he's not realizing that his kingdom will soon become bankrupt... Sometime's I question myself are all king's stupid and dangerous. Drautic: Kid, all the time.. Most kings are... But there are others... You should leave this shithole and start a new life somewhere. Austinato: Drautic! Let's go! We got what we needed! Drautic: Aight! I hear ya! Dasher: Who's the kid, you're bro? Aeon: Dude, lay off the bro jokes... It's not funny anymore. Akira: Yeah, now let's go back! I wanna have another beer battle with you guys! While the boys are having a pointless conversation, they didn't realize that Renzu and Mayuko are the ones carrying the heavy stuffs while Senshin is carrying 10 sacks of rice. Senshin: They have rice here! It's our lucky day, i'm gonna make us some Senshin style Onigiri! Drautic: Kid, we're leaving. You should do the same. Kid: Aight, thanks bro! Drautic: Laters! After that, the Dreaded pirates took a small ship and headed back to their ship. They ate and laugh and eventually got drunk and this was the Navy's cue, they caught them off guard and when they woke up, they were in jail. Drautic: Wo- what the hell!? Dasher: What happened, bro? Mayuko: We got captured and... Renzu: Where's B-bro and Senshin? Akira: Those idiots got sleepy early and decided to sleep below. Aeon: Well, let's just wait for them to rescue us, no problem. Austinato: I don't know guys, we can easily escape this crappy jail.. I don't really get the idea of staying behind. That's when another prisoner talked to them, he was an old man bald but with pearl colored teeth and looks pretty healthy. Old Prisoner: Hey little pricks, what you sent here for? Austinato now serves as his crew's lawyer. Austinato: I dunno, geezer. We were drunk and we got here. Old Prisoner: Well, I got in here for badmouthing the king! But to be honest I was talking about the truth, y'know what I mean!? Austinato: Yeah, so... Wassup? The two men exchanged stories for hours, losing count on time... While the 2 remaining Dreaded Pirates we left nothing but craps to find their missing nakamas. Bizkit: Dammit! We lost them! Senshin: Don't worry bro, I know them... They'll get out.. While they're at it, let's go investigate the city.. I heard they have some fine looking women! Bizkit: I dunno man, maybe they're in danger or something... Senshin: Nah, cmon, you in or what? The duo started to look for clues to where there friend's are, they started asking the local people to find out what happened to their crewmates, that's when they found out that they were jailed and are probably gonna get executed by the king. Bizkit: What now? We can't storm in there, we'll get more attention to the marines... And they might fire on us whenever we see them... And, everytime we land, there's always going to be a buster call, we can't live with that man! Senshin: I know B-bro, that's why we're gonna rescue them when they're about to be executed... That's when a man, wearing a cloak approached them. Cloaked Man: You want to fight against the king? Join us and his head shall be yours... Senshin: Tell me, is this king a bad king? Bizkit remained silent and listened to the man's answer. Cloaked Man: He's way worse than that bro, he's like a cross between an idiot who feels like he's a genius and a sadistic little son of a- Guard: Hey you! You're part of the resistance! Cloaked Man: Quick, follow me! Guard: Capture them! And capture that man and his duck! Bizkit: Son of a- Senshin: Let's go! The three guys outmaneuvered the guards and proceeded to the resistance camp. They were many of them but most of them, were teenagers. Bizkit: You're army is... Made up of half assed kids? Senshin: This is Ironic, they say war isn't child's play... But looks like the ones playing are children.. Cloaked man: They're pretty agile, and can use knives as weapons... If it wasn't for the royal guards' training, we would've taken this country already. Senshin: So, where is the leader? That's when a young blonde haired man came in, he was handsome but he had an eye patch. He got that after he attempted to rescue his mother from the king's men. Resistance Leader: These aren't half assed army, duck. These are the children fighting for the next generation so theirs wouldn't be so shitty like ours... We are revolutionary... Senshin: Hmmm, make your resistance big and Dragon himself might recruit you to join his cause. Resistance Leader: Yes, but for now... We have to overthrow the current king and replace him with a new one. Bizkit: ANd how are we gonna do that? Resistance Leader: Easy, there's going to be an execution of some pirates. The king himself is gonna be there, if we can take out the king it'll inspire the people to take arms and fight his reign of terror. Bizkit: Dude, there's one big problem, how're you gonna do that if you know that the king himself is very very hard to kill? Cloaked Man: How'd you say that? Senshin: Easy, no weak king would go on an execution without the risk of getting assasinated... Everyone knows that. Resistance Leader: Well, not me...So, how are you guys planning on taking down the king? Senshin: Well, why not use a long rifle from afar and shoot him? Resistance: Well, uh, how am I gonna say this... Bizkit: Oh, There's no one skilled enough to use a long rifle? That's okay, we know someone who can do it but he's in jail right now and he's gonna get executed. Cloaked Man: Well then, let's rescue him. Senshin: Yeah, but problem is, we don't know where they are. Resistance Leader: Don't worry, I'll send my spies to look for your man. Let's talk about the coup d'etat in the tent, cause it might work. Senshin: Oh, it will! Bizkit: Hell yeah. Back to Drautic and his crew's present situation, they're sitting standing and all bored. Austinato is still talking to the old man when the guards came back with another prisoner. He locks him up in a cell near the Dreaded pirates. Guard: That'll teach ya to respect women, you lecherous bastard! Man: Cmon man! I didn't knew she was 16, I'm innocent! Guard: Tell that to her parents! She's 3 weeks pregnant you turd! Drautic: Maaaan, prison drama's getting on my nerves! Why the hell are we in here anyways? Dasher: Yeah, we can still fight without our weapons! Aeon: Yeah! Even though we came to a shocking revelation that Drautic's devil fruit isn't Logia... WE STILL SURVIVED! Drautic glared on Aeon and he stared on Aeon for 5 minutes straight, the others just watched them, after 5 minutes, he talked again. Drautic: Yeah, so... Let's bust out! Drautic transforms his fist into a larger version that looks like exoskeletons with spikes all over, his crew stepped back and watched as he hits the jail cell with no exerted effort. Austinato: Old man, wanna come with us? Old Man: Nah, I've seen everything anyways, glad to be meetin ya sonny! Austinato: Likewise! With that, the Dreaded Pirates made their half assed escape before meeting the King himself. The king was supposed to go the city and meet the mercenary bands but the sudden jailbreak made him took the law in his own hand and gathered his best men and capture the Dreaded Pirates dead or alive. D.S.: I am the king! Bow down before the king! Akira: Yeah, but how bout this!? (Does a crotch grab) Yeah, how ya like me now you punk ass king! Dasher: We want a ship dickweed! Pronto! Mayuko: Guys, guys... Be polite. Renzu: Your Highness, can you let us pass? Drautic: Listen champ, (Points at the king) We're not here for trouble we're here to replenish our supplies and continue on our journey, but your navy captured us while we were drunk and sleeping, so tell me... Don't we deserve a chance to kick your kingly ass? Austinato: Dude, you're making it worst! Your highness, we would really love to stick and chat but we need to get going now... They try to pass through the king's men, but they wont budge an inch, that's when Drautic realized this king ain't gonna go down without a fight. Drautic: Heh, you wanna fight us? Bring it on! (Raises his fist) Hehe! At that moment, Austinato elbows one guard and throws the other while dasher head butts one guard while he engages another 7 in a fist fight, Aeon is kicking and uppercutting every guard he can see, Mayuko is seen using palm attacks to blast the guards away and akira and renzu is seen hitting the guards with akira's "mini hammer". The king remained stoic but he can't just sit back doing nothing, so he joined his men in battle. Captain: Sire, it's too dangerous! D.S.: Nothing is too dangerous for me!!! D.S. Punches the ground and causes it to become quicksand. Drautic and his crew quickly jumped off the ground and landed on a safer place. Aeon: This king.... HE'S A DEVIL FRUIT USER! Akira: Yo king! Akira's gonna use his gat on you sandy lil ass! Dasher: Yeah! You better be prepared you piece of crap! We'll shishkebab you! D.S.: You kept telling yourself that while I'm here unhurt! Hmmm! Austinato: This guy... HE DRIVES ME INSANE!!!!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Drautic: Austinato!!! D.S.: Keh, quicksand trap! Austinato: What the?! Ahhh shit! Austinato has half of his body trapped in quicksand. D.S.: 1 down 5 to go!!!! ?????: Stop!!!! D.S.: HUH?! That's when Senshin and his army came in a nick of time, Drautic and his nakamas would've kicked D.S.'s sorry ass but they stopped in order to savor the moment when they kick D.S.'s ass straight. Senshin: Yo, king! We're gonna let you off the hook, but this comes with a price. Bring your men here and we'll have an ass whooping session! Ya dig??? D.S.: Hmph! You'll regret not killing me! Drautic: (Transforms his fist into a small crocodile shaped knuckle dusters) Ya saying you can take us all? You do realize you're facing criminals that will kill if necessary. So it would be wise to bring your men and let's meet here again. Tommorow! D.S.: Drautic was it? I'll have your head in my own hands... Just wait and see! Renzu: Yeah, now hurry up and gather your men! Don't forget to bring medical attention to the hurt ones here! Dasher: You suck at provoking people to hate us. Renzu: Shut up! (Punches Dasher) Dasher: Right, we should get our weapons are p-p-p-p-party!!! Austinato shuts him up with a punch straight in the stomach. Austinato: Now's probably the time to tell these children (points at the rebel army) what's gonna happen tomorrow. Renzu: Guys, the king's probably gonna bolster his forces with mercenary bands and some very very battle hardened veterans... We can't take them on with this army, I mean we can easily take them on with just our crew but it would be dishonorable for them to like, fight for there war... Senshin: Renzu's right, let's at least cut these guys some slack. They're gonna live longer if we did that anyway. Akira: Why not just give them some of my weapons? Like easy-to-use long rifles and spears, you do realize spears reduces the fear in battle... And with guns instead of daggers, they'll probably put up quite a fight. Mayuko: I believe so too, but how are we gonna train them? Drautic: Easy! Akira'll train them. Right, Akira? (shoves Akira) Ehhh? Bizkit: Yeah yeah yeah! Now let's go to the ship and bring that weapons! With that problem sorted out, the Dreaded Pirates along with the rebel army trained and rested, knowing that the day of battle was fast approaching. Morning came, with the knowledge the rebel army gained from Akira. They are now a force to be reckned with. Drautic: Today's the day where we test our courage we have to fight this... THIS MAN, WHO CALLS HIMSELF A KING! Today, we decide who's king and we decide who's gonna rule us! We will fight his reign of terror of both stupidity and tyranny! We will act now! The rebel army stormed to fight against the king and his men. Earlier, D.S. went to the capital city to gather his men and mercenaries. Squire: My liege, we heard what happened to you. I have gathered all of your men.! We await your order! D.S.: Bring everyone, and we leave in the morning! After that, D.S.'s men went to do battle with the rebel army. D.S. himself led the army and intends to wipe out the Dreaded Pirates and the rebel army. Drautic: Hmmm, that king has guts... BUT, WHY'D HE BRING A LARGE ASS ARMY?! Austinato: Yeah, we were supposed to leave after the battle but... DAMMIT! Renzu: Let's just get this over with, I'll lead the army, gunners!! Take your positions and wait for my signal fire to start firing! The rest of you, follow me! Rebel Captain: Aight! You heard the man! Follow him!!! Squire: Any plans my liege? D.S.: Crush them with everything we've got!!! Now haul some ass and start killing them! King's army: YEAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! (Charges at the rebel army) Rebel Captain: (Loads pistol and rifles) Listen up, it's lock & load, aim and fire! Now go!!! Renzu: Aight, use your long spears to fight them at a distance! The Rebel army and the King's men clashes with Renzu taking out numerous of enemies second after second. Drautic looks relaxed whiled dasher and the other guys look bored and joined the fight, raising the king men's casualties even further. Squire: Sire! We're losing more men than the rebel army! We have to do something! D.S.: Damn! (Jumps to the battle) Quick sand double hole! (Shoots a small ball of sand which turns into a big quicksand, trapping the rebel army) Rebel Captain: Oi, is time to shoot now?! Renzu: (blocks an attack with one of his hex swords) Do it, DO IT NOW!!! Rebel Captain: Fire!!!! The rebel army gunners open fired to the king's men, dealing massive damage and reducing there numbers greatly. D.S.: Shit! Press on forward tell those bazooka brothers to take out their guns or KILL THEM ALL!!! Bazooka Brothers: We're on it!!! (Fires a barrage of rockets to the direction of the enemy gunners) Rebel Captain: Shit! Take evasive maneuvers! Avoid those rockets at all-- (BOOM) What the hell was that!? Dammit! Fire back at them!!!! Akira: I'll take out those bazooka brothers!!!! Dasher: (Beats the crap out of 10 men) Yeah! Drautic, finish the king off! Drautic: Don't tell me twice! (sprints towards the King's direction) DIE!!!!!! D.S.: Quicksand shield!!! (Forms a shield made up of quicksand) Drautic: Heh! Shinigami Trick: OBLIVION PUNCH! Drautic transforms his fist into a massive demon shaped skull and greatly increases it's deadliness by coating it with haki Drautic: Bata!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOOM!!!!! (His punch went through D.S.'s shield) D.S.:Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (Is sent flying) How the hell..?! Suddenly, it's in an open sea. Two men are trying to land a clean hit on another man. It is later revealed to be Melon and Leon, and they are seen trying to land a hit on a mysterious guy. Melon: Damn, if it wasn't for his black butterfly crap... This fight would've ended long ago!!!! Leon: I agree, he's a master illusionist but not just that... He shares the same last name as your captain, correct? Melon: Yeah, no wonder he's strong... That's when a man wearing a tuxedo and a top hat went closer to the two, he was smiling like a fox. He raised his hand in the air and creates a huge numbers of dark butterflies, he then forms them into a huge cyclone full of pollens and dust which can suffocate any living being. Aldous: My name's Draco D. Aldous, you saying you know someone who shares the same last name as I do? Melon: Yeah! And we're not gonna die just yet!!!! Leon: Hell yeah! The three clash, and now back to the battle. The dark emperor D.S. is clearly no match for Drautic, but he isn't going down without a fight. D.S.: *Heh* Looks like you're a lot stronger than I have expected... Drautic: Nah, you're just weak... There're tons of guys stronger than me, you're so lucky I'm the one who's gonna kick your ass... Now, go down like a good dog and get knocked out by my punch. D.S.: Insolent son of a----(Gets punched by Drautic) Drautic: Listen, I ain't using my devil fruit cause I find it pointless on going all out on a weak guy who claims to be emperor... D.S.: *Heh* Quicksand.... Vortex!!!! Drautic: *Sigh* Drautic bypasses D.S.'s attack and lands a devastating kick in the jaw, knocking him out cold. Drautic: Now to take care of the rest of his.... That's when Drautic realized D.S. was just a pawn on another man's devious pawn... "No way they'd let an idiot king be a tyrant!" Drautic said he then continued "It's not like he's wapol or something".. He hurriedly ended the battle and reunited with his crew and the rebel army thanked them, they then partied soon after and they returned to their ship the next morning. Drautic discussed his suspicions about D.S. Mayuko: Something on your mind, Drautic? Drautic: It's nothing, it's just I find it weird... Senshin: Don't worry, whoever's the superior of D.S.... We'll kick his ass either way... Dasher: Right on!!!! Akira: Yeah, now time to par-teh! The End Category:Putridas Category:Stories